American Reunion (2012) Review

You can basically expect two things when you go to see an American Pie film. One. An all-encompassing amount of sex. Two. An all-emcompassing amount of sex-related jokes. Basically these two things are what American Reunion gives us. Jim (Jason Biggs), Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), Stifler (Seann William Scott) and all the rest (I'm too lazy to list them) all return home for their high school reunion. Sure some of them have relationship problems and Jim's Dad makes everything really awkward. But that's about it.

As I'm sure you must be aware if you ever looked in the 5.99 bin at your local Wal-Mart there are approximately seven separate films in the franchise. This is only one of four to feature all these characters and the rest were released direct-to-dvd. The film itself elicited two separate reactions from me. One was a couple of instances of genuine laughter (one involved Jim's Dad [Eugene Levy]) and a whole lot of head-shaking. I prepared for that by sitting in the back of the theater so no one would see my annoying non-frat boy reaction. Unfortunately I was informed after the screening by one of the individuals in my party that he could see it several times.

There are really only two types of jokes in this film. There are the bad jokes that become good by one or two actions and the good jokes that go too far. I'm going to go ahead and reveal what the other joke was. You know the one that redeemed itself and then went too far? After being humiliated by a trio of high school punks, Stifler seeks his revenge. He ties their jet skis to his truck and silently sneaks to their icebox, opens it, and evacuates his bowels into it complete with nasty sound effect. He runs off and, true to formula of a collage party film, high school punk #1 opens it and sticks his hand into it to get a beer. The thing is that excrement jokes, in and of themselves, are not funny and the act of covering someone in said excrement is also not funny. Now, you may say, "Joe, why when you were so annoyed by the same effect in Joe Dirt and Fast Five do you give American Reunion a pass?" The answer is simple. While performing the act Jim asks Stifler, as any rational person would do, what he is doing. Stifler smiles and, silently, informs him what he is doing sitting on the icebox with his shorts around his ankles. That was what I laughed at. Then they had to ruin it by showing the contents on high school punk #1. From the looks of it methinks Stifler needs to eat more yogurt with live and active cultures.

The problem is that the franchise has been raucous and bordering offensive since the very beginning. With each passing film I fear the filmmakers must up the ante on how far they can push it. Why? This is what the audience expects. At this point the audience expects to see a man's penis behind a clear pot lid.

You know what I would have loved? If for once, just once, not everything works out for these people. Can't one of them get hit by a car and not walk away from it? Can't we end the film with them sitting on the sidewalk realizing their life sucks? Why does everybody have to get laid by the end?

★

 

 

Sleeping Beauty (2011) Review

Lucy (Emily Browning) is a 22 year-old university student who spends her time outside of school working a number of jobs. She works at a coffee shop, volunteers at a research lab and as a photocopy clerk. She answers an ad for women to make at least $250 an hour. Starting out as a lingerie-clad waitress she gains the favor of her employers and soon is promoted to the job of Sleeping Beauty. The job requires her to be drugged and sleep nude while paying customers do whatever they want with her body short of penetration.

This film has the emotional warmth of a walk in freezer. The depiction of human nature is not only completely miserable. It is unbearably, ridiculously miserable. There seems to be an attempt to replicate the films of Stanley Kubrick, particularly Eyes Wide Shut. That film was a masterpiece. Sleeping Beauty is a near abysmal implementation of faux eroticism and fails to be even remotely erotic.

Here's the thing. Much has been said about Browning's "visceral" performance and bravery for baring all onscreen. If nudity automatically translated to a good performance Elizabeth Berkley would have won an Academy Award for Showgirls. Did she? No. I should say that it's not entirely Browning's fault for an unmoving and uninvolving performance. The script, written by Julia Leigh (who also directed) gives her very little to do but walk around in the same miniskirt day after day and then take off her clothes and sleep. However Miss Browning cannot escape all the blame. I couldn't help but wonder where her natural accent goes from scene to scene and the finale features a scream that is neither engaging nor short enough to avoid laughing at.

The script does not present any background for Lucy and we learn nothing about her. We don't get to find out what she's studying or why. We don't get to discover how she makes the decision to take the job she does. Why can't we know of her dreams or fears? Is it the intention of Leigh to present her as a thoroughly unlikable, rude and unfeeling woman? I'm not sure but that was my reaction to it. I could care less about her friend who is either a drug addict or has a terminal illness or both.

The most annoying technique in the film is a slow fade to black. I counted nine. I'm sure that there were more but I lost count. When you have very little happening onscreen besides one character sitting down somewhere and you don't move the camera I suppose you have to put in some sort of attempt at style. Nice attempt. And before I stop writing this review like I should have stopped watching the film I want to say this. Julia Leigh needs to watch Creature from the Black Lagoon and see that no one wants to listen to bubbles for twenty minutes so the occasional piece of music would be nice. She needs to realize that silence is boring if not used appropriately and sparingly.

Zero Stars