Muppets Most Wanted (2014) Review

I have always considered myself a Muppet fan. I love the films (yes even Muppets from Space) and shows and merchandise and characters and on and on and so forth. This film is the first time I have felt a resounding disappointment in something that bears (pun intended) the name. I truly wanted to like it but, as the film unfolded with only chuckle-inducing jokes, a slew of unmemorable songs and twenty cameos per minute, I found I simply could not. Sigh.

The film begins quite literally where The Muppets left off. If you recall the last thing seen before the credits was a firework display with the words “The End” shown in bright, colorful letters. The characters have just wrapped up filming their big comeback. They discuss what they should do next. Some say they should break up again while others want to keep performing for the audience of extras (who consequently left immediately). Ultimately they decide to make another movie. A man name of Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), appears to the Muppets and informs them that he wants to manage their group on a world tour. They of course agree and begin preparing for this undertaking. The only problem? Dominic is actually (as his name suggests) a bad guy. He is the number two man to the number one criminal in the world Constantine. Constantine is a frog who bears a striking resemblance to Kermit with the addition of a mole on his cheek. He’s specifically a thief who has been locked up in a Russian Gulag run by a feisty and affectionate guard named Nadya (Tina Fey). He escapes from the prison and makes Kermit switch places by painting his mole and gluing one to Kermit. Kermit of course is arrested and taken to the gulag. Now how Constantine escapes from the Gulag is unclear as Nadya makes it clear to Kermit that she has seen every prison escape movie ever made and therefore escape is impossible but I digress. Constantine convinces the other Muppets that he is, in fact Kermit. They set off on their world tour, with the destinations carefully chosen by Dominic and Constantine. All the while there are chased by an Interpol officer (Ty Burell) and Sam Eagle (here playing a CIA agent) while Kermit remains trapped in the Gulag, forced to partake in a talent show under the orders of Nadya. I won’t reveal anything else as this is a (mostly) spoiler-free review.

The film has, I believe, more cameos than any other Muppet production. I counted no less than sixteen. It’s true that The Muppet films have often employed cameos but here they  are so wall-to-wall that we never have a chance to let them all sink in before the next one. This defeats the purpose of cameos. It should be of someone you recognize and give you a laugh. The average audience member may not recognize Frank Langella or Chloë Grace Moretz in their roles but that’s only because they go by so fast that you are left thinking, “I know that was a cameo but who was it?”

I have never laughed at these characters less. In fact I found myself only chuckling a few times. I can’t remember all the times I did but there were no fits of hearty laughter so common in something with the Muppets. Sadly many of the jokes simply fall flat. I’m not saying that it is bereft of humor but I expected to be laughing nearly constantly. Something I did when watching The Muppets or Muppet Treasure Island. I wanted to so much throw my head back and laugh to the point of annoying other audience members. This is perhaps what is most distressing. The fact that I couldn’t do that.

I mentioned earlier the songs being unmemorable and unfortunate. Of the six original songs, all written by Bret McKenzie, I couldn’t hum a single one. It is a sad day when the best songs in your musical come from other musicals (such as “I Hope I Get It” from A Chorus Line) or movies (like “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic). When they re-did “Rainbow Connection” for The Muppets it worked. It played on our nostalgia to create a heartfelt moment. Here the redone song is “Together Again” from Muppets Take Manhattan. It feels out of place and doesn’t make me feel the same way as when I first heard it. That being said the way that the songs are presented is actually fairly clever and entertaining even if the songs themselves are not.

The Muppet franchise has bounced back from worse so I have no reason the believe it won’t do the same after this film. Was it the worst thing in the history of things? Not necessarily and I acknowledge that, had my expectations not been so high, I may have enjoyed it but why lower my expectations? It fails to live up to the quality of previous entries but then again it freely admits that it’s not as good. I just wish it didn’t celebrate it.

★★