Friday, April 8, 2011

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

I know what you are thinking. Why would the creator of the best review blog on the planet, who has incredibly high standards, waste a portion of his life watching a movie called The Gingerdead Man? Well, I’m going to tell you. It’s the same reason I watched The Mangler and Monkey Shines. Some movies are so bad they are entertaining. If for nothing other than give you the material to make some good jokes. I picked this up with the hope that I would have a fun-filled evening laughing at stupidity and meaninglessness disguised as a movie. Let’s just say I didn’t.

The movie is about an evil Gingerbread man who comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer (Gary Busey). He wreaks havoc on the girl who sent him to the electric chair with her testimony. Did I mention that his name is Millard Findlemeyer? Clever.

The movie wasn’t even worth making fun of. It was a profoundly pointless experience that I wish I never had. It wasn’t funny or even slightly humorous and it certainly wasn’t scary (although I didn’t think it would be)

To prove how bored I was I’m going to tell you a little bit of a story. My uncle has a bedroom just on the other side of the room where I was watching the movie. His room is complete with a flat-screen TV and DVR satellite. We actually became more interested in trying to figure out what it was that he was watching without going in there.

Clocking in at just south of seventy minutes this story of a cookie monster is too short to be a feature film.

It’s as though they had a movie and then unmade it. I wish they had completely unmade it and let the cookie crumble.

I refuse to assign this trash a star rating of any kind.

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